Showing love to the "picky eater" in your family this Holiday (i.e. Me!)

Dealing with Food allergies at Christmas

You've been cooking for 3 days, currently there are 7 people in your small kitchen and then Aunt Margaret walks in...here comes the third degree.  "So what did you put in the potatoes?  Did you thicken the gravy with flour or corn starch? Please make sure the basket of rolls is at the end of the food line not the beginning like last year".  Everyone shares looks of annoyance, why does she have to be so picky?

Maybe she hates this as much as you do...if she's like me she does.  I long for the days when I could go to a buffet and all I had to think about was not eating too much.  Have you ever thought about what it would be like to NEED to know every ingredient in a food dish before tasting it?  Then consider what it's like to go a church dinner or a holiday meal with family where everyone brings dishes and they fill up a big table with unknown ingredients.  In case you were wondering...it's very stressful! 
What you might not know about Aunt Margaret or that picky eater in your extended family is that one bite of that flour thickened gravy could make her sick within 5 minutes, ruining the rest of the evening for her but not just that, the affects could linger for the next 3-6 weeks, ONE BITE! Not cool! The other possibility is that she's a picky eater who has jumped on the gluten free fad diet for lunch while eating cake for dinner.  Either way, isn't the holiday season a time of love and grace to others?  So how can you be a blessing to those "picky eaters" that cross your path this holiday season?

1) Communicate with them - Ask questions and seek to understand what their needs are.

a. What ingredients do you need to stay away from? dairy, gluten, peanuts, tree nuts?
b. Which dishes are you concerned about?  Can I help find out what's in it for you?
c Do you have to worry about cross contamination? (maybe you need to make sure that the dessert she brought doesn't get sliced with the same knife as all the other knives making it inedible for her)
d What happens if you accidently eat some? (sometimes it's nice to feel like someone cares about what you face)
e. Is there anything that I can do to make this meal easier for you?

A little compassion goes along way. No one wants to be treated as an unwanted guest and the majority of the time they wouldn't be picky about the food if it wasn't a real issue for them.

2) Don't PUSH food on them that you know they can't eat. 
"Oh come on" says Uncle Bobby "one bite of cheesecake isn't going to kill you!"
"Yeah, I remember you used to eat that all the time growing up" your brother chimes in.
"Why does she have to be so picky, it's ridiculous!" says Mary
"Seriously, it always has to be about her" replies Joy.
"Um, there's no bread in pumpkin pie, what's the problem?"
"Don't worry we have both white and wheat rolls"
Names have been changed to protect the guilty but these are real comments said at real family dinners to and about my gluten free friends. If you are having a hard time understanding what the big deal is feel free to read my post "A day in the life of a Glutening"
https://precious4blessings.blogspot.com/2014/01/

3) Don't take it personally when they don't eat your food.
Some people get so sick from cross contamination that they won't eat any food that they haven't prepared themselves to be sure it won't make them sick.  This can be frustrating and hard to understand when you have worked hard to prepare something allergen free just for them.  However, if you stop for a moment to consider if your options were: a) Don't eat and get dirty looks or b) Eat and have the flu for three weeks, you might find yourself making the same choice.

3) Offer to let them go through the food line first. 
At our church group and family functions we have those with food allergies go through the line first, because those who do not deal with allergies on a daily basis are not usually aware of the accidental cross contamination that takes place just while going through the line. Using the same tongs to pickup Doritos (gluten free) and BBQ chips (not gluten free). I mean they're right next to each other and that's easier then setting down the one pair and picking up another of the same thing.

I usually try to slip through the line and grab a plate while everything is being finished up so that everyone isn't waiting on me as I walk through asking questions.  One of my favorite things to do when we have someone with us for the first time who is gluten free like me is to bring them through the line letting them know what is safe and unsafe for them.  Do you know why I enjoy this so much? Because it's my least favorite thing to have to do on my own. 

My family is very understanding and works hard to accommodate my frustrating needs because they know how sick I get, even still things can happen.  This past Thanksgiving I went and spent an insane amount of money on a box of gluten free stuffing because it's been 3 years since I had stuffing and it's very hard to find.  I made it in a separate pan and everyone was told about it, however, when the kids went through the line one of them accidently dropped a chunk of Stove Top's very gluten filled stuffing into my pan of safe gluten free stuffing.  No one else noticed and thankfully I had already gone through and gotten my plate but it's things like that that can ruin a perfectly good meal for
the "picky eaters" like myself.  Sometimes people don't realize that I have NO desire to be that annoying Aunt Margaret that questions everything, moves food around on the table and requests to grab their plate first.  I would much prefer to enjoy the holidays without all the fuss but sometimes you just don't have that luxury and the people that are the biggest blessing are those who offer a friendly word or even look of encouragement as you wade through the waters of uncertain food options. 

So remember to show some love to the "picky eaters" who cross your path this holiday. 

How to Treat Deep Wounds in Friendship

The moment you realize you have hurt someone whom you care about, there is this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and an ache that silently grows in the deepest part of your heart.  You question the "what if's" and "if only's", however, this does nothing to calm the tempest raging in your soul, as your normal day turns into the day you wish you could forget existed.  

Such was my experience this morning upon waking and realizing that I had caused great hurt to a friend.  Neglecting to invite this dear lady to a wedding shower that took place the previous evening.  Unfortunately, this was not just a social event but the shower of her future grand-daughter (in-law).  In the hurry and hush of throwing a surprise shower for the bride, this was a major oversight on my part and I knew that her heart would be broken.  I felt sick, it was my fault, I had unintentionally inflicted a wound upon my friend.

We often talk about how we are just "human" and we "all" make mistakes, however, it's not so easy to swallow, when it's your turn to make the mistake.  It is even harder when the misdeed is committed against you.  Wounds of the heart don't heal on their own they must be tended to and purposefully stitched back together in order to gain restoration.  This is often painful but always necessary!

With a heavy heart I picked up the phone and called her to admit my wrong and seek forgiveness. I was not prepared for the spirit with which my words were received. Not the spiteful words of an angry heart or the resentful words of a broken heart but the tender admission that the oversight hurt but all would be forgiven. Her response was full of graciousness, exemplifying one of the clearest examples of a Christ-like spirit that I have ever had the blessing of encountering.  She had every "right" to feel left out, hurt and angry with me and yet she chose to set aside those "rights" and extend to me undeserved forgiveness and even understanding.  Instead of tearing down the walls of our friendship and berating me, causing the wound to fester and grow, she chose to quickly grab a needle with thread and allow the Heavenly Father to stitch up her wounded spirit and restore our friendship.

Is there a wound currently festering in your heart?  Do you feel the pain and distress of betrayal? Maybe the sting of rejection or the disappointment of deceit?  You have a choice to make, and my prayer is that your choice will be the same as my dear friend, Alice.  That you might, with strength from above, accept with graciousness the sting of the needle, as you seek to restore the person who may have hurt you most and heal the wound from festering.  And maybe some day down the road when you are on the other side of the coin and realizing with remorse that you have done another wrong, the same courtesy might be extended to yourself!

You have a choice to make when you hurt someone: 

 

              1) Ignore the Situation - Hoping it goes away 
                  Result:  Never works! A wound unattended is left to fester and stink with infection.

     "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  ~ I John 1:9

              2) Blameshift - It's always easier to pass the blame to someone else who may or 
                                          may not have been involved.
                   Result:  Loss of respect for you as a person

    "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth 

and forsaketh them shall have mercy. ~ Proverbs 28:13

               3) Take the Offensive - "I can't believe they would get upset over such a silly thing"
                   Result:  Only heaps coals of fire upon the offense, showing an unrepentant heart 
                                   full of pride

 "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. ~ Matthew 23:12

 "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is 

not in us." ~ I John 1:8

                4) Humility - Accept Responsibility and Request Forgiveness
                     Result:  Leads to Restoration! It may just be a step towards healing but it reflects 

                                   your effort to right the wrong done against them.

 "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, 

but giveth grace unto the humble." ~ James 4:6

You have a choice to make when someone hurts you:

               1) Ignore it - Burying it deep inside (sometimes this also involves ignoring any blame
                                      that you need to take responsibility for in the situation)
                   Result - The confidence you place in yourself to manage the pain with out dressing 
                                  the wound will surely lead to a nasty infection of bitterness.

"And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: 

that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive 

you your trespasses." - Mark 11:25

                2)  Spread it - You are hurting and angry and you want to let everyone else know what 
                                        an awful friend this person has been to you.  Instead of offering them                                                    the chance to make it right, you involve others.

                    Result:  You have spread the hurt, infecting those around you  

"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth 

chief friends." ~ Proverbs 16:28 

                3) Retaliation - You wounded me and so now I will counter attack!
                     Result - Two wounded hearts.

'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Revenge,-And-Retaliation#sthash.EaP6LSdJ.dpuf

'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Revenge,-And-Retaliation#sthash.EaP6LSdJ.dpuf

'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Revenge,-And-Retaliation#sthash.EaP6LSdJ.dpuf

'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Revenge,-And-Retaliation#sthash.EaP6LSdJ.dpuf

"Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against thy people,

 but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: 

I am the Lord" ~ Leviticus 19:18

                4) Offer up Forgiveness - Sacrifice your own hurt feelings overcoming bitterness.
                    Result - Allows healing to begin and restoration can be found. Though a scar 
                                  may remain, the heart will gain normal functionality.

  "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another,

 if any man have a quarrel against any: 

even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." ~ Colossians 3:13

Today the realization hit me, that it is in the face of our humanity, that life changing decisions are made. Decisions for or against integrity, morality, and spirituality. They may not seem all that grave, in the moment, but they set the course for our future path. We choose whether we will harbor unforgiveness, towards an offense that deeply wounded us, or pick up the needle and thread, allowing God to stitch up our pain and restore our damaged friendship.  Regardless of which side of the offense you find yourself on, don't leave a wound unattended, it will fester and create infection, that  not only destroys your relationships, but will lead to the death of your own gracious and forgiving spirit.

The Frustration of a Flare-Up

    Before you can know the Frustrations of a Flare-up you must know what a Flare-up is: 

Flare-up (as defined by me):  The uncalled for arrival of unwanted symptoms, scars, and   emotions!

  
Anyone with an autoimmune disease or condition understands the full meaning of the ugly flare-up.  It always seems to arrive uninvited at the most inconvenient times, littering nasty symptoms through the canvas of your body, with no concern as to how this will affect your previously planned but now irrelevant schedule of events.  

I used to call these occurrences a "reaction".  Yes, I'm having another "reaction".  However, that implies that you are "reacting to" something and therefore invites these questions: "Do you know what you're reacting to this time?  Did you accidentally get glutened?  Why are you reacting again?  What did you eat? I thought you fixed this by going gluten free?"  The only answers I have to these, are at best, just a guess as to what my overly sensitive immune system has flared up to this time.

Nice and early this morning I woke up with extreme joint pain in my left arm, no it wasn't a heart attack but it was painful enough to get me out of bed at 4am to retrieve my emergency supply of benadryl and some over the counter pain meds.  I could feel the frustration building from that point on because I knew that this day was not in my control anymore.  These are the moments when I have to spend a bit of time talking to God and asking Him to help me deal with these unwanted frustrations:

Frustration #1:  

Anytime you are in pain it is frustrating - you tend to be short with your loved ones - you tend to be cranky with every little thing that might go wrong.  It's like when you hit your fingernail with the hammer and someone asks if you're alright just as it happens, in the midst of the pain all you want to say is "NO, I'm not alright, does it look like I'm alright I just hammered my nail black and blue!".  However, you usually just say, "Yea, I'm okay"as you roll your eyes at least that's what I do if you ask my mom she'll tell you.

Remedy for #1:  

While facing this frustration the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut because those around you don't deserve the emotional roller coaster that you are on, they really just want to help you. Although I don't wish to spend every day locked up in my bedroom secluded from my children there are certain moments when it is preferable that I do just that in order to spare them my up and down emotions as even the softest sounds of my husband chewing his food or the kids searching through their legos for their missing piece sound to me like a thousand nails scratching down a chalkboard.  It's just hard to have a decent conversation in this moment.  So yes a little alone time may be called for.

Frustration #2:  

You recognize that this is another set back about to happen and the last thing you want to do is be set back again.  It reminds me of snowshoeing in Vermont after a heavy fluffy snow.  Your snow shoes sink so deep into the snow that it feels like you're climbing a mountain just to take the next step, while at the same time ice cold snow melts into your boots and freezes your legs.  Throughout this 4 year journey with Celiac Disease I have felt so many setbacks and although I try to become numb to the feeling I still get emotional when it happens and I have to truly fight the emotional side effects of another setback. 

Remedy #2:  

For each one of us the remedy to this one may be different.  You must not focus on the disappointment of the setback but instead take it as another opportunity to investigate the causes.  If you're like me you often have no clue what has led to your most recent set back but maybe, as much as we hate to admit it, there might be another trigger food out there to be aware of.  Never stop learning about your disease and how your body reacts to it.  I have begun to keep a food journal as much as I really hope that there are not other foods that I have to eliminate I also want to experience healing.  The other cure I use for this frustration is a note that I wrote myself when I was feeling good reminding myself that although I might be in the dumps for a few days this too shall pass.  Truly I have been having more good days than bad and that is some hope to hold onto.
 
Frustration #3: 

A flare-up means that you're going to be missing out on time with friends and family.  Today our Sunday School class is having a Volleyball tournament and Cookout at the church and I was looking forward to having some down time with friends.  Also, I usually help my husband get everything ready for such events but today I was useless.  The most I was able to do was help him load the grill into the trailer and even that nearly put me into a full blown asthma attack.  It's also frustrating to those who planned to spend time with you, often it's hard for them to understand why you aren't around like you said you would be or like you used to be.  It's a lot of pressure to feel the burden of letting someone down and during a flare-up your thinking is usually physiologically more depressed anyway.  Beware not to allow yourself to dwell on negative thinking.  "...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:8b 

Remedy for #3:  

The only remedy I have for this is to make the best of the good days you have.  There will be times when they are far and few in-between but there will be other times when you'll experience many good days before a flare-up.  Take advantage of your good days to spend time with those you love and enjoy being around. 

Frustration #4: 

This last frustration is mostly rooted in vanity.  It is very frustrating to see the physical side effects of a flare-up.  For each one of us it is different but for most it includes a lot of swelling, water retention, rashes and even a throw back to the horror's of your teen years with acne.  It's just not pretty!

Remedy for #4:  

Just be glad that it goes away! Right?  That's all I could come up with on this one ;)

If you are out there suffering from a Flare-Up right now or you've been where I am then I just want you to know that despite how it feels...You Are Not Alone!!  So keep fighting against the frustrations of the Flare-Up
 

A Day in the Life of a Glutening

The newest word in my vocabulary is "glutening". It has also become a word I loath. I am allergic to gluten and and when you accidentally ingest gluten we call it a "glutening" or "getting glutened".  Oh, if only restaurants could understand what this does to someone with Celiacs.  It is so much more than a preference not to eat gluten, it's even more than an upset tummy or a little nausea.  This happened to me yesterday when in a moment of weakness I made a rookie celiac mistake:

 I was at a local restaurant and ordered a drink...nothing else on their menu was "safe" until I started asking about their french fries.  Most fries don't contain gluten but usually restaurant fries will be cross contaminated when the restaurant cooks them with other fried foods.  So you learn to ask if they have a dedicated fryer just for fries.  I actually did remember to ask this and they said "Yes, we have a dedicated fryer".

Wonderful!!  I can order a small fry with my drink.  This was good news...or so I thought. Unfortunately, I didn't have my husband with me, as he always reminds me to ask if they cook their morning hash browns in the dedicated fryer (which is almost always a yes) and hash browns do contain gluten!  I sat down with my fries and after eating just one I felt a burning in my stomach. Never a good sign...hmm...I quickly set the fries aside and said a quick prayer that my worst fear was wrong.

Well...my stomach was telling me the reality of my mistake...are you serious?  I messed up again?  Maybe it won't be as bad this time?  That's it I'm swearing off of restaurants for good?  Did I mention that there is a very emotional side to being glutened? Every Celiac new or old has been here with me, that moment you realize you have been GLUTENED!  We try so hard to avoid this allergen called gluten, adjusting our eating habits and changing our way of life. Missing the old freedom we used to have to eat whatever and where-ever we want to.  But is it really that big of deal?  How bad can gluten really make you feel?  It really can't be all that bad right?  Is "glutening" a real term? I'm glad you asked.  I thought it would be helpful for those who might not have food allergies to know what someone who does goes through when accidentally ingesting even a small amount of the allergen.  It may also be helpful for those of you who do, to know that you are not the only one out there that faces these issues.

I kept a play by play of what happened yesterday after eating that one fry and this is why Gluten is a big deal to me:


12:01pm – Ordered a soda at a local restaurant and was tempted by the fries.  Asked if they cooked their fries in a dedicated fryer…YES!!!  Awesome their ff are gluten free

12:05pm – Ate one fry…felt it burn a bit as it hit my stomach.  Set the fries aside.

 

12:06pm – Stomach begins cramping

12:10pm – Pain begins to radiate into lower back

12:30pm – 25minutes spent in the bathroom (T.M.I but that's what happens)

12:56pm – Upper shoulder pain begins…cramping still continues in stomach

1:15pm – Back begins itching

1:40pm – Back to the bathroom

2:26pm – Chills begin

2:29pm – Lower back pain increases and travels down my legs radiating in my joints all the way down to my ankles.  

 

2:53pm – Short of breath – using heating pad for back pain (Took 2 Benadryl)

3:14pm – Nausea & Itchy foot rash flares up

4:07pm – Chills continue. Brain fog setting in as well as headache

4:00pm-6:00pm – Rested with heating pad (Took 2 more Benadryl)

6:30pm – Stomach swollen to twice it’s normal size – sneezing begins as well

8:00pm – Short of breath again (2 more Benadryl)

10:15pm – Restless leg syndrome going crazy – whole body achy – very exhausted but insomnia (Benadryl)

Second Day:

Woke up with burning scalp & Pounding headache 

Legs still pretty shaky

Lower back and Joint pain are gone in return:

Stiff neck 

Fatigue 

Sores in mouth 

Any sound or light irritates me (not a great side effect with 4 kiddos)

No appetite 

Symptoms lasted until 7pm of the second day then energy gradually begins to return, appetite returns with a vengeance.  Headache subsides first and then by midnight burning scalp begins to fade away.  

Alas, I have survived yet another glutening! Hopefully I will avoid this rookie mistake next time.

I kept track of this experience for my own good, but thought I would share it because many of you may know people with food allergy issues.  Maybe you can be an advocate, or at least a friendly face when others get annoyed with them for asking a million questions before ordering their food, or asking what ingredients a pot-lock dish was made with.  You might be able to give them an ounce of patience because you now understand that for some of us, one misstep, as small as a french fry, will have two days full of consequences.  If you have a family member celiac's the best thing you can do is let them get lots of rest during the process, try not to get frustrated with them (we are frustrated enough) and help them not to beat themselves up about it.  I have talked to Celiac's who have been gluten free for 10 years and even they get glutened, accidentally, every once in a while.  All of us hate it, but we can deal with it and learn from it each time.

I would love for you to share your experiences with me in the comments below!

Disclaimer:   I do not have any medical training in food allergies and this is a record of my own personal experience with gluten.  No two people are exactly alike in either their reactions or their sensitivities to food allergens so you may find that others have a very different experience and that they may be able to handle more or less than I can. Also, I did not write this so that you would feel sorry for me and what I go through.  I wrote it to be educational.  I love being gluten free because it has given me my life back.  Having to deal with 2 days of sickness is just part of the learning process for me right now.  I hope that it can be a help to others going through the same process. Thanks for reading!

The Biopsy Day

For all those who are unfamiliar with the diagnosis process of Celiac Disease, it often takes many years!  On average a person with Celiac's will suffer symptoms for 10 years before the doctor will order a Celiac panel and they finally begin getting answers to the many health problems they are experiencing.  I am one of the lucky few on the lower end of that spectrum.  My celiac's gene turned on 3 years ago after giving birth to my fourth child, Anna Marie (yes she's totally worth it and no, unfortunately, having another baby will not reverse the switch).  For the last three years my health has deteriorated, my allergic reactions became out of control, I had daily migraines, scalp burning (figured this out when it began to go away), dermatitis herpetiformis (a very itchy skin rash), asthma, and so on.  A few weeks ago after having a severe allergic reaction to Thanksgiving Dinner I asked my doctor to order a Food Allergy Blood Panel & Celiac Panel.  The Celiac panel came back positive and so I was referred to a Gastrointestinal doctor for an endoscopy procedure and small biopsy to confirm the diagnosis.

Today was the big day!  I have been so proud of myself for diligently becoming Gluten Free in the past two weeks (which my doctor told me to do), that the thought of eating gluten was really unappealing. Unfortunately it is best to avoid going GF until AFTER you have completed the endoscopy so that the GI doctor can get the best picture of what your body has been going through.  BTW, our bodies are amazing creations that do a wonderful job of healing themselves when we provide the proper tools for which to do so.  My poor body has had to deal with me daily contaminating, it with a substance (gluten) that I am highly allergic to, for three years, no wonder it began to rebel.  However, just two weeks off of it and it has begun to heal itself. 

Anyways, Dr. Vong told me to eat some gluten leading up to the procedure.  Here is where there was some discrepancy:  I heard him say "You know, eat a large piece of pizza the day before or something" but apparently he also said (or meant to say), "Eat gluten for the 3 days leading up to the procedure" so that they can really see how the intestine reacts.  The pre-op appointment I had with him happened to come the day after I came down with strep throat so I might have been a little out of it when receiving those instructions...

To me, this goes to show just how much I hate getting sick from gluten.  I REALLY thought I was indulging by eating that italian cheese bread and cheesecake at 5pm the night before!   This week is Christmas and we were blessed enough to have all my family up on Christmas day (3 days before my procedure).  I did NOT want to be sick the whole time everyone was here and if you remember Thanksgiving Dinner was the day that I had a very severe reaction and some of my family was here to witness that...not fun!  As a matter of fact my mom suggested that maybe it would be better if I just didn't eat for the two days that they were up!  Of course she was just joking but she was very nervous about me having another reaction and she hates seeing me sick (although it is always great to have mom at home if you're going to get sick like that) ;)  So all this to say I was not in a hurry to eat the gluten and I knew that it was going to give me at least some side effects (and it has).  So I delayed eating gluten until 5pm last night.

I had no idea what to expect, so I was a little nervous about how much I would feel or remember about them sticking a tube down my throat.  I had heard conflicting reports but I am here now to say that the worst part was getting the IV put in.  You're not supposed to eat or drink anything after midnight and my procedure was at 11:30am so by this time my veins which are already smaller were not cooperating.  They even had to bring out this cool vein finder scanner, which my husband had a fun time playing with after they did get the IV in.  We found that he has much better veins for an IV than I do.  However, I was the one that needed it so that wasn't helpful information!

After finally getting an IV to stick, they walked me back to the procedure room. Dr. Vong came in and asked me if I had eaten that big piece of pizza.  Then he asked what else I had...opps?  I really should have been eating it over 3 days...which means I could have eaten that green bean casserole on Christmas day but oh well!  I also would have had a lot more sickness and probably wouldn't have enjoyed all the family time that I was blessed with.  Sorry, I keep getting distracted, anyways, he then said "Goodnight" and the next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room with my husband sitting next to me.  It was quick and painless.  A minute later the doctor came in with some pictures and let us know that although there was some inflammation there was no damage visible to the naked eye which is good news.  He also said that 90% of the Celiac patients he sees do not have visible damage and that's why they take the biopsies to look under a microscope and that's usually where they see some.  All in all it was an easy procedure, I got a great nap and felt relaxed the rest of the day.  Near the end of the day the meds have worn off and my throat feels a little sore when I swallow but they did stick a big camera tube down my throat so that's very normal ;)

An Indulgent Day of Glutening

Tomorrow is the big day...the Endoscopy & biopsy to confirm the Celiac disease and document any existing damage to my small intestine.  Since I have been Gluten Free for two weeks my doctor asked me to go ahead and eat some gluten today to help him see the reaction to my intestine.  I woke up this morning and really couldn't decide what delicious gluten filled item I would most enjoy as my "Last Supper of Gluten".  I avoided it most the day trying to delay the impending reaction that would surely follow my indulgence.  Finally, at 4:30pm I was out shopping with my sisters-in-love and before heading home a sign came to me, I knew what I should have:

Little Caesar's Italian Cheese Bread & Sauce!  You should have seen me walking in and placing my order, I truly felt a little giddy.  You know, the excitement that comes from doing something that you don't ever get to do (or never will get to do again).  I suppose it could also be compared to doing something you're not supposed to do but then I'd have to accept the guilt and I was only following doctor's orders!!!  Unfortunately, I realized that since I had been avoiding gluten most of the day I better go ahead and eat some of that gluten filled cheesecake that I had stayed away from all day on Christmas!  I must say I definitely savored it and by "it" I mean a few pieces. ;)

The Aftermath:  I certainly enjoyed my indulgence of gluten however, there is reason that I will not be returning to it again.  Although the reaction was not as bad as I expected it to be it began to hit me about 8:00pm.  The typical stomach cramping, headache, brain fog, and fatigue came to haunt me just like that monster that used to sleep under my bed as a little girl.  I went ahead and hydrated myself with a few bottled waters just before eleven because no eating or drinking after midnight is allowed and since my procedure isn't until 11:30am I'm a little concerned about being dehydrated.  Hopefully I have ingested enough gluten to inflame my intestines without making me too sick!  Overall, I have enjoyed my one day splurge of indulgence on gluten.  I do feel a little guilty, maybe I didn't need the cheese bread & cheesecake but we'll see what the doc says (and sees) tomorrow!

What!! I have a Disease??

It doesn't matter who you are or when it happens, once you find out that you have a disease there will be an array of emotions that you travel through in the days following diagnose.  For me, due to the nature of problems I had leading up to diagnose my first emotion was:

RELIEF - Finally I had ANSWERS to the questions I had been asking.  Something that could explain the many health and allergy problems I have been experiencing for the past 3 years with no relief.   What a blessing! An answer to hundreds of prayers!  I have Celiac's Disease, an autoimmune disease that causes your body to produce antibodies to Gluten, a protein found in Wheat/Whey, Rye, Barley & Malt.  Basically causing me to have an allergic reaction to Gluten.  If you know someone who has been diagnosed with Celiac's on average it takes 10 years for a person to even have a doctor test them for it.  Partially because the disease tends to cause other health problems and the doctor ends up focusing on treating those first without realizing the underlying cause for these problems could actually be Celiac's.  Although it is an autoimmune disease it really is probably the best one to have because although it may not be curable it is definitely treatable simply by going Gluten Free!  This takes effort/work on your part and has a huge learning curve but it is very doable.

So there, I have a disease and I am relieved...until the impact begins to set in and then I turn a corner to find my next emotion:

DENIAL - I do not need to go Gluten Free!  I can't go Gluten Free!  Gluten is in EVERYTHING!  Maybe the test results were wrong or inconclusive.  I should probably call my doctor again and make sure that I understood her correctly when she said I needed to adopt a gluten free diet and that she believed I would feel much better by doing so.  She must not understand that I am a busy mom of four and I don't have the time or energy to make all my food from scratch.  I like fresh buttered rolls and cheesecake, *french fries and mashed potatoes and pasta and eating out for convenience sake.  No, this whole gluten free thing is really just a fade anyways right???  It can't be what's wrong with me.

*Just a note that there is no gluten in mashed potatoes or french fries (unless they are cooked in contaminated oil) but at the time of my diagnosis I didn't fully understand what did and didn't contain gluten and I thought I must say goodbye to them forever along with everything else good in my life ;)


At that point my husband yanked the wheel away from me and brought me back to the hard reality...I do not get to choose whether or not I have Celiac's Disease.  I was born with a gene for it and after giving birth to my fourth precious baby (our Adorable Annabunkin) the hormonal changes I went through must have tripped that gene into action beginning this tirade of health issues. After  seeking for 3 years this was an answer...it was a blessing remember!  So what do I do now?  Acceptance...nope, not yet, first I ran to this emotion:

OVERWHELMED - I can not handle this right now (as if I could pick a better time later).  This is when the tears came! It's time to cry like only a woman can cry.  And I did just that, I cried for fear of the unknown, fear that I wouldn't be able to figure things out, fear that I would have to eat dry fake bread and hummus for the rest of my life.  Have you ever been there before?  Overwhelmed by a health problem or maybe a life circumstance like losing your job or another car repair?  It happens to the best of us and it's okay.  That's when I got to just melt in my husband's arms and pray to our father above, first thanking him for an answer to prayer and second begging him for the strength and peace I needed to move on from this emotion.

God being the ever faithful Father did just that, he granted me the peace that everything would indeed be alright and just like every other crisis I have faced in life big and small He would see me through it.  With His grace I was able to move onto the next emotion:

ACCEPTANCE - I can do this!  I will survive this bump in the road and I will ask God to open the door for me to be able to glorify Him through this.  Once you hit this emotion you begin to accept that things will be different from here on out but that's okay and different doesn't mean bad, miserable, dreadful etc. It just means not the same as before.

Reaching ACCEPTANCE brought a new cascade of emotions:

JOY (we forget that joy is not based on our circumstances but on where we put our focus)
THANKFULNESS (that I am okay and I have a great support system in family and church)
RELIEF (remember I have an answer for all the craziness)
PEACE (everything will be okay)
LOVE (for life) 
EXCITEMENT (to learn all about this condition)

Does this mean that I will never feel OVERWHELMED by my disease again....NO, it doesn't even mean that I can make it a whole day without having moments of feeling overwhelmed!  However, if I continue to take it a day at a time, trusting God to give me what I need for each day I will be able to overcome the difficulties of this little disease and live a better healthier life for the body God gave me!

Psalm 91:1-4

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High 

shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, 

He is my refuge and my fortress:

my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler,

 and from the noisome pestilence 

He shall cover thee with his feathers,

and under his wings shall thou trust: 

his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.