Flare-up (as defined by me): The uncalled for arrival of unwanted symptoms, scars, and emotions!
Anyone with an autoimmune disease or condition understands the full meaning of the ugly flare-up. It always seems to arrive uninvited at the most inconvenient times, littering nasty symptoms through the canvas of your body, with no concern as to how this will affect your previously planned but now irrelevant schedule of events.
I used to call these occurrences a "reaction". Yes, I'm having another "reaction". However, that implies that you are "reacting to" something and therefore invites these questions: "Do you know what you're reacting to this time? Did you accidentally get glutened? Why are you reacting again? What did you eat? I thought you fixed this by going gluten free?" The only answers I have to these, are at best, just a guess as to what my overly sensitive immune system has flared up to this time.
Nice and early this morning I woke up with extreme joint pain in my left arm, no it wasn't a heart attack but it was painful enough to get me out of bed at 4am to retrieve my emergency supply of benadryl and some over the counter pain meds. I could feel the frustration building from that point on because I knew that this day was not in my control anymore. These are the moments when I have to spend a bit of time talking to God and asking Him to help me deal with these unwanted frustrations:
Frustration #1:
Anytime you are in pain it is frustrating - you tend to be short with your loved ones - you tend to be cranky with every little thing that might go wrong. It's like when you hit your fingernail with the hammer and someone asks if you're alright just as it happens, in the midst of the pain all you want to say is "NO, I'm not alright, does it look like I'm alright I just hammered my nail black and blue!". However, you usually just say, "Yea, I'm okay"as you roll your eyes at least that's what I do if you ask my mom she'll tell you.
Remedy for #1:
While facing this frustration the best thing to do is keep your mouth shut because those around you don't deserve the emotional roller coaster that you are on, they really just want to help you. Although I don't wish to spend every day locked up in my bedroom secluded from my children there are certain moments when it is preferable that I do just that in order to spare them my up and down emotions as even the softest sounds of my husband chewing his food or the kids searching through their legos for their missing piece sound to me like a thousand nails scratching down a chalkboard. It's just hard to have a decent conversation in this moment. So yes a little alone time may be called for.
Frustration #2:
You recognize that this is another set back about to happen and the last thing you want to do is be set back again. It reminds me of snowshoeing in Vermont after a heavy fluffy snow. Your snow shoes sink so deep into the snow that it feels like you're climbing a mountain just to take the next step, while at the same time ice cold snow melts into your boots and freezes your legs. Throughout this 4 year journey with Celiac Disease I have felt so many setbacks and although I try to become numb to the feeling I still get emotional when it happens and I have to truly fight the emotional side effects of another setback.
Remedy #2:
For each one of us the remedy to this one may be different. You must not focus on the disappointment of the setback but instead take it as another opportunity to investigate the causes. If you're like me you often have no clue what has led to your most recent set back but maybe, as much as we hate to admit it, there might be another trigger food out there to be aware of. Never stop learning about your disease and how your body reacts to it. I have begun to keep a food journal as much as I really hope that there are not other foods that I have to eliminate I also want to experience healing. The other cure I use for this frustration is a note that I wrote myself when I was feeling good reminding myself that although I might be in the dumps for a few days this too shall pass. Truly I have been having more good days than bad and that is some hope to hold onto.
Frustration #3:
A flare-up means that you're going to be missing out on time with friends and family. Today our Sunday School class is having a Volleyball tournament and Cookout at the church and I was looking forward to having some down time with friends. Also, I usually help my husband get everything ready for such events but today I was useless. The most I was able to do was help him load the grill into the trailer and even that nearly put me into a full blown asthma attack. It's also frustrating to those who planned to spend time with you, often it's hard for them to understand why you aren't around like you said you would be or like you used to be. It's a lot of pressure to feel the burden of letting someone down and during a flare-up your thinking is usually physiologically more depressed anyway. Beware not to allow yourself to dwell on negative thinking. "...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Phil. 4:8b
Remedy for #3:
The only remedy I have for this is to make the best of the good days you have. There will be times when they are far and few in-between but there will be other times when you'll experience many good days before a flare-up. Take advantage of your good days to spend time with those you love and enjoy being around.
Frustration #4:
This last frustration is mostly rooted in vanity. It is very frustrating to see the physical side effects of a flare-up. For each one of us it is different but for most it includes a lot of swelling, water retention, rashes and even a throw back to the horror's of your teen years with acne. It's just not pretty!
Remedy for #4:
Just be glad that it goes away! Right? That's all I could come up with on this one ;)
If you are out there suffering from a Flare-Up right now or you've been where I am then I just want you to know that despite how it feels...You Are Not Alone!! So keep fighting against the frustrations of the Flare-Up
Feel free to leave your own remedies for dealing with Flare-Up frustrations :)
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